Saturday, May 23, 2015

One Day Braver


I had my qualifying exams taunting me and I could not afford to fail that one "judgment" exam. As a strong believer of divine interventions, I made plans.


Saturday, May 2, 2015

Destressing

I had been looking forward to this. I wanted to unwind through art and creativity. All work and no play makes an accountancy student dull all the way. 'Kay, I don't think I'm making sense now. Browse through my chosen best shots and you be the judge on how I did.


Saturday, April 25, 2015

Second Shot

So I deleted all my previous post and decided to a fresh start in my blog. First, thing on the agenda was my header. I totally suck at plain typography. Looking for the best font to suit my personality wasn't as easy as counting, as well. I had to patiently browse through different websites that Google can provide. Thankfully, as you can see, the finish product turned out fine. Success!
Next, would be this. As a pilot post, I shall be visiting the past and upload some of the photos I posted before.

         

Monday, April 6, 2015

I Knew This Was Coming

Don't know if I'm just over-thinking or someone just slammed the truth to my face, either way I got hurt and it just brought me back to the shell I've been caving in. I'm offended because I'm starting to believe their piercing words. Was I really becoming the "description"? Forgive me if I'm forcing you to read between the lines and making you guess the little details. I'm just being too careful on this. Anyway,

I knew I was going to receive backlashes from "them" eventually. I just didn't know it would escalate this quickly.

I knew it. I just knew it. I was right all along. I was heading to this direction but I refused to believe my instincts thinking it was just all in my head. No one will notice. I mean, who am I for people to take a second look, right? I am just a mere person. I should've just stuck with the status quo. Not messed with the order of things.

But forgive me if I'm making your hobby a little mainstream. Forgive me if I try to do other things outside my comfort zone.

Sometimes, people want to do things differently in their lives because they want to grow. And unfortunately, for me, the timing of my "coming out of the shell" is on the era where people do a certain thing, visit a certain place and suddenly it's everywhere on the web to see.

Just to clear something up.
A few weeks ago, I started reading novels (again). It has been quite a loooong time since I let my imagination wander. The first book that I've read was John Green's Paper Towns. A good friend recommended it and shared that the plot was good and everything. And so, yes, the opportunity came when my brother had this book borrowed from a friend. Since he's not really the reading-type, I borrowed it from him. Indeed, the plot was great. But what amazed me most was the adventure and the thrill Margo (the female lead character) was in. Mississippi, Disney Land, her black notebook, the planning - EVERYTHING! Everything was so genius and thrilling. Margo was a reflection  of who I am not as a person. We're complete opposites. I was (and quite still) the goody-two-shoes girl who have always followed what others have say to me. But I knew that I wasn't going to be the person who I want to be if I remained that way. I am going to be stuck in my old habits and stuck in the same sh*t hole if I don't do anything.
Yes, the book paved the way to changing myself. It made me realize that there is a much much greater world outside my small town.

This was the very reason why I hold myself back every single f*cking time! I care too much on other people's point of view. I care too much on what the public has to say. I care too much if people will misunderstood me or not.

Social media has hampered a lot of my personal endeavors. It's like I want to do this, but I can't because somebody has already done it. Or like I want to freaking blog freely but can't because somebody has already achieved a greater status and if I do it then I would seem to be following her tracks, which is absolutely ridiculous.

So I decided to sign off for a while. Out to where people don't see me often. Out to where people would hear less and know less. Out here where their only link to this of world of mine is Facebook.

After reading and rereading what I have just stated above, I asked myself "why did I have to care about their criticisms?". Exactly why, I'm still ranting all these right now. I have not grown. Not yet.

-Biancaa